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(June 22-July 22)

Your partner needs to be told what you’re thinking. That’s the only way they’ll know what you’re thinking. They’re not psychic…are they? Well, are they? Think about it. If you want more sex tell them. Just say “Look, we should fuck more often!” If you want them to quit drinking or smoking just be like “Damn, nigga. You gotta smoke and get drunk all da muthafuckin’ time? Huh? Shhiiiit. Yo’ bitch ass need to take a muthafuckin’ break up in this muthafucka.” Honesty is the best policy. The same goes for the work place. This week is going to be especially hectic. So, don’t take any kind of crap from anybody. Mow over anyone who can’t seem to keep up, anyone who slows you down. Use your stapler as a weapon. Open it up and aim it at lazy co-workers, then click staples at them. For special people press it against the back of their necks and impale them with the sharp metal stationary tools. Bend paper clips into two pronged forks, then use rubber bands to catapult them across cubicles and into people’s lines of vision. This is very important. It’s in the stars for you to do this.