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(Nov 22-Dec 21)

This week you will find the perfect opportunity to embezzle money from your company. Take advantage. You’ll never get caught. Here’s a genuine no risk way to get that bonus you’ve been asking the boss about for the past few weeks. He won’t give it to you? Fuck him. Take it. Follow the true American tradition of taking what you want when you want it. Be aggressive. Also there are a lot of your co workers who like to smoke weed. You know ganja. You could pick up some extra cash by selling weed to them when you’re on your 15 minute breaks. Use your company Xerox machine to print up some fliers like Dave Chappelle did in “Half Baked”, then staple sample baggies of weed to each of the fliers. Pass them out to your co workers. Don’t put your name or number on there though! Just your e-mail address. That way no one can pin it on you in the end. You know, if by chance you were to get caught. Some of your co workers are more into the white stuff. There’s a guy in your neighborhood named Kevin who can give you the best deal on that stuff that you’ll ever get. His number is 555-6843. Give him a ring. Before you know it you’ll be serving all those bitches at the job. You’ll be rollin in the dough, not only from paychecks, but embezzlement, weed and coke. Now that’s smart.